Saint Paisios of Mount Athos
– Elder, if one is humbling oneself or accusing oneself of being “a loser, an inferior, etc.”, would that lead one to humiliation?
– One can easily blame oneself, but one hardly accepts the accusations of the others. One can say, “I am miserable, sinful, or worst of all,” but one cannot bear the accusations made by other people.
When someone falls on his own and beats, even if one hurts oneself, one will not pay much attention to that. When someone hurt a person one loves, one would say: “It doesn’t matter.”
But when someone is scratched or pushed by another person who one does not like, then there will be a bit of a mess! One will get angry, shouting, pretending that it hurts, and one cannot walk!
When I was a child in Sinai, there was a layman called Stratis. If you called him “Mr. Stratis,” he would reply, “Call me ‘Sinful Stratis’.”
Everybody said, “How humble he is!” One day he overslept and failed to go to the church.
So someone went to his house to wake him up. One told him, “Stratis, are you sleeping? Aren’t you going to the church?”
Stratis starts yelling at him, “I am more pious than you. Who are you to tell me to go to the church?”
He went crazy! Until he grabbed the key from the door – it was a big key – to hit him, because he was deeply affected. The people could not believe their ears because they considered him to be very humble.
He made a fool of himself. Do you understand what happened? He was the one to admit that he was sinful but when someone stroke his ego, he flew off the handle!
One person from Epirus was in charge of repairing a church. He was the first to say that hos work is useless. When I told him: “No, your work is not useless. You actually do something useful,” he got angry!
“Can you do it better than me? he told me. “I know how to repair buildings; I’m not a carpenter like you. My father was a developer!”
I mean, it’s easy to humble yourself in words, but that does not lead to the true humiliation.
– Elder, what is the true meaning of humiliation?
– When the other humiliates you and you accept it, then that is true humiliation, for humiliation is actually humiliation in practice, and not just in words.
Once, Saint Kosmas of Aetolia asked the people who had gathered around him: “Who among you has no pride?” “I do not,” someone said.
“Come here the one who have no pride,” said the Saint. Shave half of your mustache and go to the square.” “Oh, I can not do that,” he replied. “Oh, then you have no humiliation,” he said. The Saint wanted to say that humiliation is an act in practice, and not just in words.
– Elder, when they pick on me, I react.
– You have no humility, so you react. Have you ever experienced the humiliation Abbas Moses felt? When Moses was ordained as a priest, the Archbishop wanted him to try him and said to the clerics: “When Abbas Moses enters the church, take him out and then go to eavesdrop on him.”
As soon as Abbas Moses went to the church, they threw him away. “You black face, where do you think you’re going?” they told him. “They are right,” he said, “I am not worth being here. Those people are like angels!” He was neither affected nor angry.
– Elder, is it possible that someone is meek, not react, when one is insulted, and at the same time is not humble?
– The humble one is also meek. But that does not mean that the meek people are also humble. Meekness and humiliation go hand in hand because if there is no humiliation, one may look like to be meek, but one’s inner self is full of pride saying: “They are idiots, so let them say!”
Like the monk who did not react at all when they rebuked or mocked him.
That’s why they once asked him: “Well, when we rebuke you, why do you not react?” And he replied, “I whisper to myself, ‘They are idiots, so let them say’!” He looked down on them.
